Friday, February 26, 2010

Korean Bullshit:Olympics

O would some power
The gift to give us
To see ourselves
As others see us --Robert Frost

The Winter Olympics are an utter and complete waste of time. In my opinion if a hairy naked 5 foot tall oiled up naked Greek man didn't do it 2300 years ago then I'm not interested. The only redeeming quality these "Games" have is the fact that every thing that I have written or said about Korea is being played out on the world stage.

Petulant Children- Violently Ignorant

Prior to the start of the short track speed skating event the Chinese team sent a cameraman to the venue to film the Korean teams practice. The Korean coach Choi(che) Guang-Bok started yelling "Stop it, Don't Do That."He then proceeded to hurl water bottles at the cameraman.
This leads us to certain conclusions about the mental capacity of Mr. Choi.

A. He is a lunatic who believes the appropriate response to a rule infraction is ineffective violent retaliation
B. He is a megalomaniac who believed that his effete bottle throwing would cow the Chinese
C. He is a fucking idiot who didn't know the rules of his industry.

In the end it was perfectly acceptable for the Chinese to film the practices and Mr. Choi's display of arrogance mixed with ignorance perfectly illustrates what I have said all along about Korea. The funny part is the Chinese probably had thousands of hours of tape on the Korean team and would glean very little they didn't already know from the footage.

Chinese Video Camera 1,000 rmb
Bus ticket to the venue for the camera man 3.00 Canadian Dollars

Making the South Korean delegation look like ass
clowns Priceless

Oh No! It's Ohno (Stay classy Korea)

The Winter Olympics are barely sports but that doesn't stop Koreans and their hwhiting ( bastardized konglish version of the word "fighting") spirit from marring this boring spectacle. In 2002 that half Jap Ohno bastard won a gold medal after the glorious Korean skater was disqualified for not following the rules. Koreans then proceeded to shut down the U.S. O.C. servers with their poorly written death threats. The death threats reached such a fever pitch that the US team had to withdraw from a competition in Korea due to safety concerns for Ohno. Korea being the classy joint that it is has Ohno toilet paper and a video game which allows faux executions of the skater. This year two Korean skaters used their aggressive kimchi power to knock each other off the ice allowing Ohno to race to a silver medal. The Korean gold medal winner said he " was so enraged that it was hard for me to control myself through the ceremony"

Pushy, Rude with a virulent strain of asshole (Hewish you are a dead man)

Apparently the South Korean skater was practicing her future adjumma (Korean cunty old lady) skills on the ice on an unsuspecting foreigner. Since the rest of the world doesn't recognize the rights of Korean women to act cunty the Korean skater was summarily disqualified. What makes this story the bees fucking knees of comeuppance is the ref in charge is the same guy who reffed the dq of the Korean skater that gave that halfie Japanese asshole Ohno the gold 8 years ago. This weeks dq gave a gold medal to the Chinese. I guess all that taping really was unnecessary. I can hear thousands of Korean netizens racking their soju addled minds trying to recall the correct order of the 50 words of English they know to properly convey a death threat to Mr. Hewish. And to Mr . Hewish if you are ever in a dark alley and you are approached by someone who smells like ethanol and sour cabbage I suggest you run like hell.

People dismiss me and my fellow blogger as Korea haters but when the rest of the world is presented with Korean bullshit they react the same way we do., with mocking , disbelief, and sometimes pity. So the next time a kimchi cheerleader comes to my blog and tries to take me to task about my observations about Korea I'll just say shhhh you hear that? That's the sound of a billion Chinese people laughing at you.


  1. You know, I used to think I had it bad as a white dude in Seoul, but now that I think about it, the only time I *wasn't* getting stared at is when there was a black dude somewhere nearby. Bad as it was for me (white dude, Seoul), I can't imagine how bad it must be for you (black dude, middle-of-nowhere). Hang in there!

  2. I am shocked and appauled by the sheer idiocy the koreans have displayed over that Ohno race. The fact that they could find a way to blame him in the first place, even though they showed the crash on a loop for days and days and days and it clearly shows the stupid fuckers crashed into eachother, is absolutely astounding.

  3. The Ohno Race is now passe. A Korean last night threatened to blow up the Australian Embassy. Http:// You'd think Lee would get on National television and tell their people to show some decorum, but you are right this is Korea we are talking about.

  4. I'm thinking you probably don't care but I'm putting you in as my write-in vote for 10 Magazine's best k-blog.

    Always an interesting read!

  5. thanks alot glad you enjoy the post. Get them while you can

  6. LOVE your blog!! (necessary for mental health if living here) Reading it is like coming up for a gasping gulp of air after being stuck under water for too long. It feels goooood!

  7. I guess the thing you hate about Koreans (that live in Korea, presumably) is their pride, and the hysteria that seems to ensue when anything threatens it.
    However, the thing I hate about you, is your arrogance in judging a nation, as well as your immature, spiteful rantings that only contribute to fueling more hate in this world.
    It feels hypocritical, because there are Black people just as irrationally proud as Koreans.
    The angry ones that shout black power and complain about the white man, and dwell on their past of slavery, racism & marginalization.
    However, both Koreans and Blacks have experienced a painful history, so can't you guys empathize with each other?
    No race is better or worse than the other.
    Koreans need to realize that, and so do Black people.

  8. Another stupid anonymous submission. First please explain to me how you feel you are in a better position to judge me after less than 4 dozen blog post than I am after years of living with and thousands of interactions with Koreans? If hate is wrong why is it o.k. to hate me because of opinions that I have? Do you understand the term hypocrite and what does the actions of some Black people have to do with me anyway. I would be a hypocrite if I wrote this blog while professing my love for Korea in other venues. Please point to any passage in my blog that says Black people are better than koreans or Americans are better than Koreans you can't. Did you read the disclaimer?

  9. Anonymous FEBRUARY 28, 2010 11:11 AM:

    "The angry [blacks] that ... dwell on their past of slavery, racism & marginalization."

    WTF does that have to do with anything? Also, man up. And suck a fat one.

    But what I really sauntered here to the comments section about was to ask what was the Korean gold medal winner mad about?

  10. the gold medal guy was mad because he is a bitch and he wanted an all korean medal sweep

  11. I really enjoy your blog, I am a black GI by the way here in Korea and really have no slight inclination what you go through,I work with Katusa(Korean Augmentation to the US Army)And they were my connection to Korea when I arrived here a few months ago. They have been a great help to me.I frankly would like to believe that you have exaggerated.

    I do hope you get to meet the many ordinary good citizens of this country out there. Ofcourse there are things I have accepted like the hyper nationalistic tendencies.
    I look forward to a little moderation.

  12. This blog is way moderate and the relationship between USFK and KATUSA is much different than the relationship of a foreign teacher to a Korean employer think think horizontal versus vertical in terms of treatment.