***Disclaimer*** Most of this was written while i was in Thailand last month
I'm currently in Bangkok Thailand but I couldn't escape from Korea without a healthy dose of Korean Bullshit. It is almost like the country conspired to give me a bullshit going away gift.I went to Daegu Friday morning at 9:00 and caught the train to the subway stop just shy of the airport. I drag all my bags over to the first taxi at the stand and ask him in Korean to take me to the airport. I generally have a 60% success rate with Korean cabs taking me where I want to go. For a variety of reasons I'm not privy to, a lot of the cabs just wave me off. So the guy indicates with his hand to get in and turns on the meter. I had to go back and get my luggage from the sidewalk and put them in the trunk(by myself) while the meter is running. The fare was only 2.40$ and I would have let him keep the change from the 3.00 I gave him but he wanted to be an asshole with the meter so I took all my money back.
I go into the airport and get in line for my tickets when a couple of Korean women push past me in the line. I smile and resume my place in front of them because my Korean isn't good enough to call them motherless cunts. I get to the counter and the guy asked where I was going so I handed him the itinerary. Head scratch, conference in Korean, head scratch.
Ticket Guy: You go Beijing or Bangkok
Me: Bangkok via Beijing
Ticket Guy: O.K. here is a ticket to Beijing
Now I've got to change my won over to Thai baht so I look for the money exchange. I walk up to a building that was sealed tighter than a nun's vagina with a sign that read hours 9:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. It being 10:30 in the morning in Korea of course it wasn't open. So I head upstairs where I see the second branch of Daegu Exchange Bank. I head to the window and give her three wrapped stacks of 10,000 won notes and ask her for Thai Baht.
She then gives me a variation of this look( which I think they practice you see it frequently in advertisements)
I don't know if I am suppose to be so bowled over by her crunchy cuteness that I wouldn't dare embarrass her by forcing her to execute my transaction or what but I wanted my damn baht. So she says you must go to main branch downstairs. I let her know that it is closed. She pauses for about 10 seconds too long and decides to call down there to verify that they are indeed closed. She looks puzzled and decides to call someone else. Meanwhile, a gentle pressure is being applied to my back by the 4 Koreans behind. It is as if they are trying to phase through me so they can get to the counter a millisecond sooner than if I simply stepped aside. The manager comes up to the stand holding about 10,000 baht. I could eyeball it and tell that he didn't have nearly enough money in his hand. So she gives me another look while the manager scampers off.
While waiting for the money I see that the airport has courtesy computer terminals so I saunter on over. There I find a Korean woman and her 2 kids taking up all three terminals playing computer games. What the kimchi? I stand there for 3 or 4 minutes and the father showing remarkable good sense makes his wife get off the computer. I went back to the counter and picked up my baht after he made a second trip downstairs.
I fly China Air which is the shittiest airline in Christendom. They keep that airplane at a balmy 55 degrees and for the meal they served egg fried rice. I land at the airport and of course Korean bullshit has now followed me to China. The ticketing agent in Daegu didn't give me a second ticket to Bangkok. So I had to get out of line and go all the way over to the ticket desk and have Chinese women look at me like I'm an asshole. They wanted to charge me a fee to reprint the ticket. I laughed and refused and they relented.
I was having a good Korean bullshit free time when I decided to try to check my balance. Bad move apparently foreigner bank account information cannot be accessed from overseas. Now that I have invited KBS into my life continue on by calling the school to make sure my money was deposited. You see children the secretary has fucked up paying me on time 3 out of the 10 paychecks I have received and much like much of what goes on here it wasn't malice just good old fashioned incompetence . The funny part about the system is every other teacher, principal, lunch lady, secretary, and janitor gets paid on the 15th. So by the time my pay rolls around she has long since stopped thinking about payroll issues. I think they like having a chance to fuck something else up in the life of a foreigner.
I fly back to Daegu on Friday tired and a bit cranky after sitting at the gate in Beijing for 2 hours on a sunny day with no explanation. I get off the plane in Daegu pass through the thermal imager and that is when I see it children, another metal detector. This is the 6th most interesting city in the 4th (you don't think North Korea is more interesting, a communist dictatorship)most interesting country in East Asia and they think that foreigners are clamoring to smuggle shit in here . I take out my laptop the lady tells me to turn it on. I tell her i can't the battery is depleted and I left the charger in Thailand. She then picks it up and starts looking at it like one of those monkeys in 2010: A Space Odyssey . This bitch is picking it up , turning it sideways, sniffing it. Finally, I took it back from her and pressed the power button. I was hoping that the little light would blink just once so I could go about my day. It did and she let me put my clothes back on leave.
Dictated not Read