Saturday, December 26, 2009

Retarded Homosexual Korean Stalker

When I write my vignettes about the vicissitudes of my life here in Kimchiland I am often barraged by a phalanx of kimchi cheerleaders who have nothing to add to what I am saying. Their responses have grown so tiresome that I have devised a new system for them to comment on my blog. That way they can save time and energy in typing out responses to me and use the time to draw pictures of Dokdo with their crayons.

A. You are a nigger ha ha lol
B. You don't understand Korean culture
C. If you don't like Korean Bullshit then leave
D. What about__________(America,Canada, Uzbekistan, Qatar, Jupiter)
E. You're still a nigger

For Example
Lee Myung Bak</span> said...
Hey Mike AEC

Hyorish said...
ABEACDDDACE and your friends too.

I invented this comment section shorthand in response to my newest Korean stalker. Unlike my old Korean stalker; whose actions could be written off as the result of a Korean woman drinking soju during her pregnancy, this new stalker has a moist latent homosexual undertone to his desperate need for my attention. A couple days after I wrote Jim Crow I started to receive the standard you are a nigger ha ha ha comments. Those comments are deleted because even if I was interested in being called a nigger I doubt I would want to see it after every post. Besides 99.9% of the people calling me a nigger would never do it in person so I don't allow that pussy behavior on my blog. I'm going through the comments and I see nigger, nigger, nigger so I delete those. At this point most normal people would give up after determining the blog administrator isn't interested in interacting with them. Not my stalker though, he plows on through by writing a long rambling email to my bigpanties account. I wonder if he understands the irony of whining to me on my blog about my whining about Korea on my blog.

Anonymous to me

This blog written by a whining nigger is bullshit. Look tyrone, if you hate living in Korea, then get your simian ass out of Korea! You wanna know why Asians in general hate dealing with fucking niggers like you who whine and gripe about "scrimination and shiet"?! It's because of the way you niggers act on the bus, talk loud, have no manners, etc. Go to Japan, that's fine. Typical nigger behavior (TNB).

So I ignore this comment and he comes back with:

ahaha, I see that my comment will not be posted.

So tyrone, read my blog ************ okay shitskin coon?

He is getting frustrated and sexually excited by the prospect of interacting with a Black man so he sends me this offer to give my fat lips and skin the licking they deserve:

fuck you mike nigger ass coon piece of simian shit.
First of all, I made a blog in response to your nigger babble nonsense of Korean or "Asian racism" against nignogs.If you hate living in S. Korea, get your simian nigger ass out of Korea! Read my blog in response to your typical nigger whining and griping that you niggers do. The truth is, niggers commit MORE hate crimes against us Asians here in the US compared to the cold shoulder treatment you get in Korea! Fuck you! I live in Indy, not too far from cleveland, and would like to meet up with a nigger and give you some lickings you fat lip, shit skin piece of nigger shit deserves!

Tell me mike, what about the hate crime assaults against Asian students committed by blacks in the South Philadelphia high schools? Why aren't the black principles (what an oxymoron!) doing anything? I'm so glad that the Asian-American legal group is filing a lawsuit against you black people for assaulting my people.

In addition, if you can comprehend my blog, David Kao was an Asian victim of black hate crime by two nigger boys who strangled him simply because they were "targetting" Asian victims. They ended up strangling him, murdering him, and simply walked away with his wallet. Guess what? No hate crime charges were filed against your nigger people! Hmmm, I wonder why?

frankly, I think you're too spoiled by the white-guilt/politically correct people here in the US who would do anything to hide the truth about black racism against Asians, Asian businesses, Asian students, etc. Like I've said, as an angry Asian reading your garbage blog, if you hate living in Asia or Korea to be specific, then buy a one-way ticket and get your simian ass back to amerikkka.

Now he is about to cream his pants with excitement. He is very daddy acknowledge me at this point.The funny part about this was I was in Seoul for most of this time period completely unaware of this dialogue he was having with himself . He is a very desperate bean.
I haven't responded to him and his sexual frustration for me reaches its zenith. He writes a letter directly to my email with the name that is indicative of the homosexual acts he would like for me to perform on him. At the end he implores me to read his blog again.


Yoo Suk-Mi

to me
show details Dec 20 (6 days ago)
Hey nigger mike,

Due to your typical nigger whining behavior talking trash and shit about Korea, here's my blog in response to black racism against us Asian here in the US.

Like I've said in the last part of my blog, if you hate living in Korea or any parts of East Asia or outside of the white-guilt/politically correct/nigger ass-kissing USA, then you have every right to buy a one-way plane ticket balck to the shithole of the northern midwest called cleveland.

I have to admit that I also hate whiteys living in Korea too. But man, you fucking niggers have the cajones to trash talk about Korea and my fellow Koreans when in fact, you niggers commit the same kind of hate crime WORSE than the kind of shit you get in Korea.

Here nigger, read my blog, okay?

So I read his blog and it is more of the same off topic bullshit he has been peppering me with for the last couple of days until the last paragraph where he invokes imagery from his S&M fantasies. I guess if he can't have me then I should cease to exist. His posts have an air of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction mixed with Single White female.

If you want to meet face to face with me, not problem, as I live 280 miles SW of your shithole in Indianapolis, and would love to greet you with some hemp ropes dangling from a tree.

Now of course this being Korean bullshit there must be a twist to the story that deepens the lunacy and stupidity of the situation by at least 50%. In this case my Retarded Korean Homosexual Stalker Yoo Suk Mi is stalking the wrong person. Surprise bitches! This guy has me confused with some commenter on the Korea Times website he likes to go back and forth with. Apparently one of my readers posted a link to my blog in the comment section of one of the articles and this big dummy has an Oprah epiphany because he thinks he has determined the identity of one of the posters that is the bane of his existence. So he is on there insulting some guy using stories I told.

From the Korea Times Comment Section

ProudKorean, afroney is probably a military private who's a janitor shipped out to Korea. him being borned in the ghettoes of Cleveland makes him alien to his surroundigns of living in Korea. He must be vacuuming his sergeant's office on Christmas day. Sucks to be afroney who didn't go to college and didn't even get any scholarships!

A video he left for me.

Korea Sparkling

Friday, December 18, 2009

Jim Crow Korea Style

If you're white you're all right
If you're yellow you're mellow
If you're brown stick around
If you're black get back.

I don't know how I did it but somehow I was able to slip through a tear in the space/time continuum and land in 1956. Now during my time here I have encountered many occurrences of kimchi flavored racial bullshit. For example, I took a bus to Busan so I could hop on a flight to Tokyo to see this girl I had met on a previous trip. I was very excited to see her because she was well educated , pretty and she worked at Morgan Stanley. She was the polar opposite of the Korean Mud Ducks I normally have to wade through. It is first thing in the morning and I take out my laptop to use the wi-fi and lo and behold you have to use your i.d. number to access it. Now this being kimchiland of course foreigner registration numbers don't work and you need to call a special number. Fuck that shit I know from experience the only thing more incompetent than Korean organizations are the individuals inside those organizations. So I waited for the courtesy computer lounge to open on the second floor at 10:00 a.m. 10:15 rolls around and this bitch finally moseys her ass to the gate to open up the lounge. I use the computer to check my itinerary and sext the girl I was going to see and return to the luggage I left unattended. Across from my luggage was a middle aged homely Korean women in magenta velour track pants with a paisley top and ballet shoes. I sit across from the lady about 4 feet away and she sees me and immediately gets up and moves to another seat. Now at this point I could let this fuckery go but I had read a post from my man Loco about this game he liked to play with the Japanese. In his version of the game he would use the Japanese aversion to being within his vicinity as a force field to push them off train platforms, or into garbage cans or poles. I wanted to try it, so for 30 minutes I made it my business to sit within 2 feet of her. She would move to a set of seats I would casually sit across from her.It was like a giant game of Qbert with me running from section to section outflanking her. I got so good at reading that woman that I could predict where she was thinking of sitting next. I kept this up until she just got into a kimchi squat near the escalators and glared at me.

Kimchi Squat

This isn't the only incident I have had trying to access Korean conveyance. I bought a bus ticket to go home from Seoul about 2 minutes prior to departure. I usually buy my ticket early and the gate agent usually refrains from sitting Koreans near me. On this particular morning I bought the last ticket for the packed bus so I was going to have to sit next to a Korean. Fine by me but when I got on the bus the lady in the adjacent seat knew immediately that I was coming for the seat next to her and we would be seatmates for 4.5 hours. That bitch starts yelling at the top of her lungs something about waegookin(foreigner) and go. She might have called me a couple of niggers but I had my headphones on so I barely heard. The driver gets on looking like a Korean Frank Ponchorello from C.H.I.P.S in his extra medium dress shirt to take tickets. This bitch is screaming next to me and I am sitting there with the most beatific look on my face enjoying Dave Chapelle at the Beacon. The driver is suppose to take my ticket and go on about his business but he is motioning for me to take off my headphones. I do and he says "changee busa". I pretend like I don't hear him so he says it again I pretend like I don't understand. That slick back sonofabitch tried to put my ass off the bus on some old Rosa Park shit. The next bus wasn't due to leave for another 4 hours and there was no way in hell I was getting off the bus. I just smiled put my headphones back on and continued to listen to Chapelle . He got frustrated and since he didn't have to sit next to me he just shrugged and walked away.

If you live in Korea or seek work here you quickly realize that their is a racial hierarchy at play. The most sought after archetype is attractive young white girsl from America, next is attractive young white girls from any place else, it goes on like that until you get to me the "Black". When I lived in Incheon there were 4 major chain schools that had a corporate policy of not hiring Black people .So it wasn't exactly surprising when I saw this post of an ad from Idiot's blog.

They are looking for an active, funny and bright white guy teacher.(Their highlight not mine)

Please send me your resume and recent photo ASAP. or call me 016-405-5396

At least none of us darkies have to bother sending them a resume.

Now lest you think these are isolated incidents of Korean Bullshit and the government couldn't be as unenlightened as the citizenry or private industry. I turn your attention to exhibit 322,789B in the case of Common Sense v. Republic of Korea. These screen grabs are from a blog called Popular Gusts

(Notice the two different spellings on Cheongwadae on the official government site) I'm telling you attention to detail is not a high priority here.

The notice on the left says the tour is closed "South Korea has been relatively safe from the pandemic but infections are worried to accelerate as people getting together like group tour".
The notice on the right says only children under 18 and foreigners are to be excluded from the tour. What takes this from just average Korean bullshit to the sublime is this man.

His name is Lee Cham and he is the head of the Korea Tourism Organization and decidedly not Korean. This low self-esteem sonofabitch rolled around in some Korean got out of the bed put his pants on and changed his name. Now I've been with women from around the world and when I was finished I didn't jump out of the bed and yell call me Qui Que Rodriguez, call me Ryu Hayabusa, call me Shmuley Schvartze Finklestein, or call me Qing Dao(Shing Dow). The crazy part of this story is he should be banned from the building . Imagine it, the head of the national tourism agency is banned from one of the more popular sites based on his race. I wonder how this kimchi cheerleader gets out of bed every morning and promotes this bullshit. (In the interest of full disclosure I must say I could give 2 fucks about cultural tours because as far as I am concerned I'm not here on a field trip)

Korea Sparkling

Friday, December 11, 2009

Scapegoats and Nigger Knobs vol 1

When they want to say “niggers” they say “crime.” When they want to say “niggers” they say “drugs.” When they want to say “niggers” they say anything but “niggers,” because nice and good and fair people don't say “niggers.” (What Black People Should Do Now)Wiley

English teachers; and to some extent all foreigners, are the niggers of Korea (unless you are an actual nigger ,then well). We have all the traditional attributes of being niggers according to Korean media. We are portrayed in the media as lazy, oversexed, undereducated, disease riddled, drug addicted and criminally inclined which led to new laws being passed on who can teach here and a general disrespect from Koreans. At this point I could include a bunch of statistics on how Korean people commit 5X as many crimes as foreign teachers but I won't. What I want to talk about is the why? Why are they preoccupied with the goings on of 20,000 college educated short-term residents in a country of 48,000,000. I'll tell you children the answer is penis envy.

Now I'm not referring to the length and girth of their kimbap children. No the issue is the inability to put their penises into the white foreign teachers and the comparative ease of white men in picking up Korean girls.(I guarantee you that if it was 20,000 whorish white girls running around the peninsula sucking and fucking middle aged Korean men there would be no visa restrictions , no H.I.V. test, no criminal background checks of any kind. So they can miss me with the protecting kids bullshit. If it was about the children then Koreans, Korean Americans and spouses of Koreans would be getting checked also.I guess possessing Korean blood or a proximity to Korean semen or vaginal secretions cleanses one of all deleterious inclinations.Btw Korean teachers get caught at least once a month fucking some kid and those are the public cases that don't go away with blood money payments) I use to teach at Samsung and from time to time my students would ask me why white girls don't like Korean guys. Hell if I know, I'm not Pew Research but if I were to guest maybe it has something to do with the Korean male standard for beauty being an almost androgyneous female.

or this

To inflate the male Korean ego they came up with this show called Beauties Chatting (Minyodurale Sudae)

On this horrible show they get a bunch of unsavory females together and ask them questions such as:

* What dating places have you gone with your Korean boyfriend? * What are five good things about Korean men? * What Korean entertainer would you like to have as a boyfriend?
The whole show just reeks of collective low self-esteem. I would like to propose some counter programming . I want to do a show called Hunk's Talking where a group of Nigerian, Indian, American and European gentlemen sit around discussing the joys of Korean ladies. I would learn the language just to participate on a show like that.

Host: Mike tell us what you like about Korean women
Me: The sex is funny
Host: What?
Me: Yeah the first time me and this K girl had sex she pulls down her pants and she had on these huge flesh colored bloomers. I guess she shares lingerie with
her grandmother. So I wedge those things off her to get a good look at the cooch.
I couldn't find it son.Her genitals looked like the chick in The Ring(c). So I part the hairs and give her a reach around to make sure I wasn't in a remake of The Crying Game and satisfied I ran to the bathroom to get my clippers so I could give her a good shearing before sex.

Now Korea being the land of the Morning Cock Block they get all ass hurt about big dirty foreign penises going into tiny Korean girls and the juvenile Korean media (especially the Korea Times which never prints a correction or retraction but rather points to criticism of its flaws as nitpicking) fans the flames of xenophobia by running article after article focusing on the social and sexual proclivities of foreigners in their early 20's. The racist government seizes on these issues and passes new regulations.

The August Korean Parliament (fast forward to:55 second mark hilarious)

I respect the intellectual capacity of Parliament Funkadelic more than these clowns.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Freedom Papers Part 1A

"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."

I bought my emancipation from Cunt Lee and gay husband on September 15, 2007 for the grand total of 877,853won. You see children I tried to be nice and accomadating to my Korean bosses. I tried negotiation. I tried sweet talk. I tried to appeal to their sense of fair play, honor, and justice. The darkness was coming and my depression was looming. After a summer of being called a nigger and treated worse I decided that I wanted my freedom. What brought things to head was the eminent departure of my friend Tish Dogg , the threat of witholding pay if I ever took another sick day even though I had 10 contractual paid sick days, and her revolving cast of idiot school managers.

So I am sitting in a meeting with the entire teaching staff of International Sesamee and the school manager is passing out a rather thick document. Now ususally I listen to my ipod during group meetings because the meeting is usually conducted in Korean even though everyone present speaks English on some level. So I pick up the packet and I realize that he has just distributed a copy of my contract to everyone at the meeting. Now I am disturbed by the blatant disrespect so I take off the head phones and call him out.

Me: What is this Park?
Park: It is a contract I want to talk about foreign teacher behavior.
Me: Why are we looking at my contract though? Mrs. Lee has had 20 foreign teachers
in the last year? Plus the contract has my personal compensation information
on it.
So we continue the meeting with me interrupting him about every 15 seconds for either clarification or to refute what he is saying. It was like the running commentary in Mystery Science 3000. He gets frustrated and calls Mrs. Lee who calls me into a room and says she isn't happy with my behavior.So I said how about this I'll give you my 30 days written notice right now but I want my visa canceled. We agree and then she adds the noncontractual caveat that I may or not pay for this month depending on how I feel about you.

I'm working my ass off and keeping my mouth shut but I keep meeting with the school principal. Her shitty organization was renting space in an elementary and becase of that arrangement the school principal dictated a lot of what went on inside of our academy. I would have this Korean girl I was seeing translate my thoughts about the school into Korean and i gave the notes to the principal. After a few weeks of this Mrs. Lee said stop it you are stressing him out and he has cancer. I told her I'll stop when you pay what you owe . A morning of chemo and an afternoon of me. I was just letting him know how Super Ugly it could get and how his cushy job at an affluent elementary school could turn real shitty real quick with me in the building. One of my letters reminded him that the children walk to school everyday and it wouldn't look good if I was begging for money in front of the school every day with signs and fliers .

Now most people in my situation would do;what we call in the industry, a midnight run. A midnight run is when a teacher gets fed up with whatever KBS they are going through at the time and decides to leave the country without proper notice. This was unacceptable for me because I believe in acting honorably and being a man of my word. That lesson; and the consequences, was drilled in to me after seeing a dead body in my front yard.

Music Playlist at

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

You don't need a big dick to be happy.

This is a BBC documentary about the white beauty myth.

Jamaican lady wants smaller titties
Chinese lady wants bigger titties
Southeast Asian wants to be taller
Korean gentleman wants a bigger penis in Seoul. 32 minute mark.

I wonder if they will be discussing this on Misuda