Tuesday, March 19, 2013

120 days on this bullshit contract -Now with no water

Last week the boss insinuated that I was in jeopardy of being fired for having a bad attitude. I assured him that I don't give a shit at this point. My new apartment doesn't have water available all of the time. When I signed the lease no one informed me that water was not included. THe water is delivered in a truck and is delivered once per week. Well our building ran out of water today and we will not get any until tomorrow so that means no showers for me or flushing the toilet. I hate this place

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Help a brother out

I need more space on my dropbox account so if you good people follow this link we both get extra cloud space .


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

133 days left on this bullshit contract

Finding clean western toilets is a passion project of mine in this shithole country. I search hi and low and to and fro to find a toilet that isn't totally offensive. Well children I found a little used bathroom on the second floor of the administration building at my shitty college. So I'm in the stall having a glorious time when I hear the door open. I conclude my business and I come out of the stall and I see a goddamn Saudi pissing in the sink.
 As you can see in picture one if you are a person who must piss into open holes they have you covered
 This is a shot of the entire bathroom. He was standing on his tippy toes while pulling up his dress and pulling down his pants trying in vain to get his dick over the edge of the countertop.
 This is another stall just as empty as the first.
 This is my glorious western toilet right under an open window so I can sshit under God's watchful eye
Here is an extra toilet just for shits and giggles

Here is the kicker the person pissing into the sink might have been a teacher because all of the students must wear black pants with a white shirt.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Day 135 Cumming in my pants

I have been trying to recondition myself to regard the stupid fucking bullshit I go through as pleasurable and to that end I try to relive a moment of orgasm everytime I hear or experience something stupid. In Saudi I'm going to be cumming all of the time.

I regaled you with the tales of my odyssey to find new digs yesterday. In my new apartment I have to now leave the house a half hour earlier every day and walk over to my site director's apartment because he is a fat lazy fuck. We now arrive at the school at 7:15 which is now a full 2.5 hours before any fucking Saudi shows up and 15 minutes before I'm supposed to be on the clock. So we walk up to the door at 7:15 and the door is locked. They stood around until 7:30.

It's not bad enough we have to be up at 6:45. On Mondays we have weekly meetings in which our boss will develop some useless topic revolving around bullshit we don't care about or is non-applicable to this particular situation. Today's lesson was this bullshit

The meeting was called for 2 45 but it didn't start until 3 because these fucks couldn't figure out how to configure the speaker and computer with the limited number of outlets we have. After the video the boss asks so how can we implement this into our program. 20 minutes of bullshit and nonsense including the statement that these students are brilliant( which they aren't by any rubric you want to apply) the clock strikes 3:30 and they are still talking.It must be some form of ass kissing or a narcissism because they won't shut up and we are off the clock at this point.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

136 days left on this bullshit contract

So I'm chilling at my home in Taiwan and I get an email from my co-teacher that says you have to move out of company housing in that shitty hotel. This is a problem because I was told specifically that I had to stay in the shitty hotel and because of that I never made arrangements for a new place to live. I fly back to Saudi and my boss says don't worry you'll have a month to look for something new. 3 days later I'm told that month has been shortened to 3 days and my fat fuck boss decides that to add an additional layer of difficulty we all have to move within 5 blocks of him.  So here I am in this shit country with less than rudimentary Arabic looking for a place. Extra problem. This is a tourist town (because Arabs are dumb) so most places only want to rent for 3 months so they can jack the rent during high season.

We get up on Wednesday( the day before we are scheduled to move out to look for apartments because the deal we made on Tuesday with the Sudanese apartment manager for reasonably nice apartments was voided by the Saudi owner who was looking to price gouge the Americans) and this place is a horror scene. We were openly speculating on the number and nature of the murders committed in this space.  The next space was just as dirty and dark so I didn't take any pics.

This filthy fucking apartment costs about 2,400 dollars us ( 6 months prepaid)  To make it extra dangerous for me I make about 20x more than most of my neighbors. Luckily I can play the Nigerian/ Sudanese card to make me slightly less desirable as a target.

 This big ass hole in the wall is where an air conditioning unit would go if the apartment had one .
 This is the back bedroom I don't use
 My sad and depressing kitchen
 The big ass padlock I use to keep my neighbors out. Everything of value except perhaps my PS3 I keep on me at all times .
 I only use two rooms of the 6 in this apartment
Two bathrooms but only one works

And of course no third world shithole is complete without a third world shithole. There is a western toilet in the back but there is no water in the pipes back there.  I could take it apart and rig it so that the toilet flows into that shit but why bother. I'm here for 4.5 months and I can shit in the administration building at school.

My employer gave me 4,000 dollars to live in this luxury but at this point I'll just keep what's left over from the deposit and eat at restaurants rather than cook. My dumb ass co-workers are busy buying beds and tv's and shit but there is no way I would ever do business with these people again so I'll just sleep on a mat and download movies from the internet.