Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Korean Bullshit: Medical

I read in the Korea Times that Korea wants to be a hub of medical tourism. In the article it went on to say that Korea has a two tiered system for pricing. The low Korean price and the much higher non-Korean price. But this is to be expected by anyone who has spent a significant amount of time on this peninsula. This country has first world aspirations and a third world mentality. I mean you expect this sort of money grubbing from a guy with a cart on a street corner (maybe) But when it is done by your national hospitals the whole thing makes Korea look as tacky as those Samsung suits.What I don't understand is why anyone would come to Korea as a medical tourist . With all the fraud, cheating, and white envelopes that goes on in academia here I would seriously question the competency of any doctor I saw. And after the price gouging what is their left to do in Korea? Visit the Soviet style tenements they erected all over Seoul. How about Namdaemun , oh right burned down their #1 national treasure with a BIC lighter a few years ago. To be honest I have lived here for years and I can't even think of more than a days worth of activity in the entire country. Though the watermelon museum was nice.


When I got to Korea last March the first thing I did was get my AIDS test. This is some discriminatory bullshit that all foreign teachers must do to get your alien card. So my boss picks me up and takes me to the country hospital. First thing they do is give me a Dixie Cup. I'm looking at this thing like you want me to brush my teeth. No, I'm expected to pee in this cup so I take it down the hall and I piss in the cup, on the cup, on my hand , and on the toilet seat. I clean it up as best I can and then I march down the hall carrying a cup of my own piss. I hand it to the girl ; who wasn't wearing any gloves , and I proceed to my next test. She has me sit at a table and pulls out a needle. That bitch could have taken that needle out of her own ass, I didn't see her unwrap shit. So now she's taking my blood without gloves. She finishes and I move on to a different tech in a room the size of a small restaurant. In this room the tech tells me to take off my clothes. I'm waiting for him to point to a smaller room. Since no pointing was forthcoming I asked in Korean where? He said here. Now I knew some kimchi fuckery was a foot because unless they changed the rules in the last 2 days I knew that they only checked for AIDS and possibly marijuana and you don't have to strip down for either of those test. My boss is watching the entire process so I ask him why is it necessary to for me get semi-naked. He asked the tech and then told me the tech wants to get an accurate height and weight measurement. I thought I was here to teach English not pick cotton . I think he was going to check my teeth and gums next.
I refused to do any test unclothed and he relented they then tested my vision, hearing, and reflexes. About a week later I'm sitting in my boss's car and he pulls out my medical chart and says you don't have AIDS ( no shit who wouldn't have that test done before flying half way around the world on my own dime) but you should watch your cholesterol. To this day I don't understand why the hospital gave him the results to the medical test I paid for. When I worked at Social Security I would have been subject to arrest for giving out somebodies personal info.

I got pink eye and an ear infection at the same time when I was living at the bathhouse. I suffered in silence for about a week until I was finally taken to a Korean doctor. Since i didn't have insurance the doctor's visit was 12.00 and he did his examine and gave me the prescription. He gave me a prescription for 2 days worth of medicine. Which meant I would have to pay that money grubbing son of a bitch for another prescription. I did that twice and on the third visit I told him I want 5 days worth of medicine I'm going down to Busan. He lied and made excuses but he finally relented.

Some people who read this might think I am a bit harsh. Why do you say that Korean doctors might be incompotent. I don't know the last hospital I went to had a funeral home attached to it.
I guess these money grubbers will get their money one way or the other.

This picture was taken at Dongsan Medical Center in lovely Daegu

tip: if you find yourself in need of medical assistance in Korea look for a hospital which is US Forces Korea authorized, those hospitals have been vetted by the military for cleanliness and general un-Korean bullshit.

Dictated not Read


  1. Fucking gold! All of it! I'm subscribing to this blog. I'm in Gyeongnam too and it sucks the nuts. At least your blog brings me some happiness.

  2. I had the exact same experience. It must be standard procedure to have people carrying around dixie cups of pee and not using gloves to take blood. However, being easily freaked out by questionable hygiene I was watching very carefully and saw the girl open up a fresh syringe. She might have been storing it up her ass, but it was still in it's plastic wrap. Yours probably was too.

  3. gloves are meant to protect the staff from YOU
    NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. since korea doesn't have a problem with aids, they don't worry so much. of course, since you're american and black, they should have used them.

    you need to get laid, guy.

  4. Wow that was stupid on so many levels I don't know where to start. But thanks for stopping by anonymous blog commenter


    I did feel like cattle, take paper, give paper to someone, eye exam, take paper, give paper to someone else, blood pressure, take paper, give paper to someone else...pee in cup. Place pee in open dixie cup on tray with 10 other dixie cups full of pee. Welcome to Korea - here is your first squat toilet. Wash hands in a bathroom lacking soap and hot water. Why is there no hot water in ANY bathroom, but mofo's want to spray me down in sanitizer - flashback to those DDT photos. I finally refused to do that at a TGI Friday's restaurant. This caused a little resistance, but they are an American chain and I would give the CEO fucking hell if it had progressed further. I think they figured that out too.

    Anyways - back to the hospital. No gloves. I was STUNNED. My mom works in health care - no way. No how. First world ambitions with a third world mentality - some straight Flowers for Algernon type shit if you ask me.

    Anon has to be satire - has to be. After all, everyone knows Kimchi stops AIDS. Weird that it can't stop gastric cancer, but hey - pick your battles.

    Can you tell me why Koreans are so - "good for health" but they smoke like they own stock in Phillip Morris? PC Bang, bathroom, elevator, stairwell, restaurant, bar. Grey with smoke. Heaven forbid someone open a fucking window or door - you are just supposed to sit and marinate in it - like Galbi.

    okay - done now.

  6. ....as it was, one idiot wrote it and some above idiots do believe it.