Monday, October 26, 2009

Koreans trying to kill me

I was going to write about my missing paycheck this week but I have bigger fish to fry. You see children I think Koreans are trying to kill me slowly. I went to Daegu to track down my missing paycheck and to check on my new bank account. To get to my bank I have to take a subway. Whenever i get on a car I always scan the car and look for two open seats, because if I sit down next to a Korean they often get up and move as they turn their noses up insinuating that I stink. This has happened enough times that if only single seats are available I'll stand for up to an hour to get to my destination. I do this because the alternative would shorten my life. When a Korean gives me one of those racial snubs for a moment; a split second, I go into a murderous rage. I feel the shock of adrenalin and the cortisol racing through my veins as my heart pounds and my ears get hot. Then I talk myself down and within a few seconds I'm back to normal, but i guarantee that moment took something away from my lifespan. In actuality swallowing that shit is probably twice as harmful because I didn't get to express it. Boxers and physicist will tell you that it takes twice as much energy to throw a missed punch than one that lands. So I'm on the train and I decide fuck this shit I'm sitting my Black ass down let them adjust to me. I sit down on the first train between a young woman texting and an old man no problem except for the staring. I like to think it is because I'm very handsome ,but the truth is they look at me the way I looked at the tigers in the tiger park in Thailand I went to. At the park the only reason the tigers refrained from killing the patrons was because they were well fed prior to the exhibition. I guess in Korea my hold on civilize behavior is just as tenuous as far as the Koreans are concerns.

When i came to Korea I was 29 years old so my self-esteem was already formed and that is a good thing because if you buy into their value system everything you are is inferior. I know a few female Black teachers who began to feel real unpretty after a few months here.Dark skin is an anathema here and kinky here forget about it. When the Koreans aren't working on your physical shortcomings they start in with their racial theories about your intelligence. For example, "Asians are 15 I.Q. points higher than Europeans, who are 10 points higher than Africans" . Or "Korean women are the most prettiest Asian women because they have the whitest skin in Asia". (BTW they sell whitening cream here and I hope to look like Powder by Christmas).

So I'm rolling through the underground mall and i see a Korean midget. Now Koreans are extremely rough on Koreans who don't fit the mold for whatever reason. I've seen strangers ridicule pregnant women for being fat here. So, I'm thinking this guy would know what it is like to be stared at by slack jawed assholes and he wouldn't do it. No go, he is drinking every bit of my 6'1 inch 240 lbs of ebony goodness in. So I got down on one knee and I start staring at him. I then took out my toy binoculars and I'm pretending to adjust them because I can't find him. He gets mad and stomps away with his friend. I go to the bank and conclude my business get back on the train and there is a seat next to an old Korean woman. I sit down she gets up.
But it is o.k. bitch. i turned my ipod up and played my de facto theme song in Kimchi Kountry.

My swag is on a 1,000,000 when will they get me down ? Not,never


  1. Brilliant! I'm white, but we get it too...I was waiting to be seated in a restaurant the other day with my lady friend, and we were standing nice and close, a happy couple for all the world to see. Well, this Korean kid keeps running between us, as though we aren't even there, and mommy dearest doesn't say a word. I finally, on the fourth pass between us, stop the kid and say 'No, stop! Don't touch!' He gets all offended and mommy says to my lady friend (as she's Korean) 'Hey, why is he saying that to my boy?' I responded in Korean 'Because he's very rude and you are a poor mother for letting him act like that!' The excuse 'It's just our culture' is REALLY getting tired!

  2. I've taken to staring right back as well. In fact, on vacation last year I had the misfortune of running into a group of Korean tourists. They stared. They kept saying waygook. Somehow the fact that they were in a different country and everyone was not Korea was lost on them.
    I stared right back, pointed, took pictures of them. It made me feel whole inside.

  3. I tried to shame the Koreans - it does not work. Today is just my day to tag all over your blog. I'm a Black female and I don't feel unattractive at all. I feel prettier here. Sadly, I have to admit I'm not Halle Berry. People are constantly telling me about my pretty skin and hair, big breasts and small face. Even the very attractive White boys (all 3 that I've seen - at the moment) with Asian girls all up in their face, move them out the way to holla. The staring is annoying as hell. Yeah, most of the Korean boys are breaking their necks to talk to low-grade white girls, but I pick up enough hotties to keep it fun.

  4. good for you I kind of wrote that in ref to one of my friends specifically. I was friends with 2 sistas and when we would go out the Koreans would go out of their way to compliment my one friend and not the other. I'm glad you are having a great time here