Friday, October 9, 2009

"There are no homosexuals in Korea" Part 1

So today I was sitting in the classroom of a school in the middle of nowhere. This school has exactly 42 students and 14 administrators ( In Korea labor is so cheap they would just as soon hire 4 people to do a job that literally need not be done at all). Anyway my co-teacher likes to practice his English by rolling out a ridiculous opinion and then trying to defend his arguments. Past discussions have included.

Asians are the smartest people on Earth

Koreans are the smartest Asians

Koreans are racially pure and therefore superior.

Do Black people have red blood?

Why Can't I touch your hair?

So today he starts asking me about perceptions of homosexuals in America. I responded that in a lot of ways America is more progressive than Korea but we have a ways to go for full rights for the LGBT community. He then promptly informed that there weren't any homosexuals in Korea.

Word? Really. Prior to class I have to routinely get the boys to stop sitting on each other laps and take their seats. Now depending on the configuration of the classroom my male students will often spend the class period lovingly caressing each other faces or packages.( One of my students takes his index finger and traces the outline of another male students face during the class. It is totally sensual and they are totally 14). The ladies are represented by a giant Judo athlete named Min something whose gender was a mystery to me for 4 months. ( I was only able to solve the mystery when they went to uniforms and she was forced to wear the girls blouse with her slacks) Min something can often be found with a little girl on her lap between classes. On Fridays I teach elementary school and on this particular day one of the fourth graders decided to pull the chair out from under another student. Now the chairs are built for small children so he was literally two and half feet off the ground. But you should have seen that bastard cry. Snot and tears and choking it was a spectacle. So the newlywed male teacher comes over hugs the boy and immediately starts to massage his ass. He is switching off hands and getting both cheeks . He looked like DJ Kool Herc on the 1's and 2's with his skillful manipulation of that boy's backside. All i know is if I was that boy I would never cry again.


  1. Male teaches massaging young boys butts? Sounds like a Catholic school. jk.

    Take your principal to the transvestite part of Seoul.... or do a slide show for him; that should open his eyes.

  2. Hey Mike great Blog, reading your posts is similar to meditation for me.
    I've been in Korea for about a year and a half, and although I am white and I may never truly understand the racism that black people face living in Korea has certainly given me a better understanding of being discriminated against on a daily basis.

    The man boy love here is unreal, if only NAMBLA new about this place I'm sure they would all quit their jobs and become english teachers.

    I have video of two boys on a bus massaging eachother if you ever need it.