Love Hotels and Baby Condoms

In the last post I touched on the phenomenon of children living with their parents well into their adulthood. This extended pseudo-adolescents has real world ramifications when it comes to fucking. For example, you are a 30 year old guy living at home with your parents and somehow by hook or by crook you convince somebody to sleep with you. You could take her to one of the thousands of somewhat filthy bathhouses and try to slay her there if she is kind of slutty and is only interested in the semblance of privacy. Or you can take her to a DVD room pop in The Incredibles and try to nail her on the filthy couch before the movie ends(if this is your tact I suggest Batman, 2.5 hours long which is plenty of time for 2 maybe three sessions). But sometimes you feel a little romantic and that New Years 20.00 dollars is burning a hole in your pocket coupled with a few weeks allowance and you have enough for a Love Motel.

A Korean Love Motel is used primarily by people involved in all sorts of illicit fuckery. Co-worker fucking, spousal infidelity, business men ordering in talent, and youngsters still on the teet who need a safe discrete place with hidden covered parking to get their rocks off all go to Love Motels.

This Love Motel was called the cube and I apologize for not getting a picture of the gaudy exterior but picture a large square red lacquered eye sore lit up so that its Titanic level tackiness can be witnessed for miles around and you pretty much got it. The Love Motels are one of the only uni formally clean buildings in Korea and this was no exception. After you get your keys and take the elevator to your floor you are confronted with English gibberish on the wall.

The rooms are pretty nice. Nice large bed with actual sheets; though I have heard that some love motels offer rooms with pallets if you like sleeping/fucking on the floor, flat screen t.v., refrigerator with drinks, water dispenser(because remember you can't drink the water) and a computer just in case you want to play Sudden Attack prior to, after,or in lieu of fucking. On the bed there is usually a pouch which contains lube, razor, bubble bath and baby condoms. I don't know where they get these shits from but it is not normal how tight those things are. If you don't have access to Korean baby condoms but you would like to replicate the sensation in your home, all you have to do is go to the .99 cent store and buy the cheapest smallest balloons they have take one of the balloons blow it up and then let the air out. Then try to slip it over your foot without tearing it.


From the bed you can watch usually two channels of K-porn. K-porn like K-pop is a cheaply produced derivative of better porn produced elsewheree. From what I have been able to gather most of the porn seems to revolve around a girl coming to a guys tenement during the afternoon, an argument ensues, she says wheyyyy in a high pitch squeal of annoyance hits the guy in the arm, smash cut they are laying in the bed fully clothed, cut away and then he is removing the single unsexiest skirt in history(think something a nun would be comfortable in) and then he removes her pantyhose , smash cut again to huge flesh colored lingerie( but it's not even Korean flesh colored it's Caucasian like a band-aid) smash cut again to her on her back like an overturned turtle with her legs flailing in the air, eyes tightly shut, and her fist tightly clinched. They don't show junk here and all the transitions are so awkward that they couldn't possibly be fucking. The other channel showed pixeled Japanese porn.

The next morning after the regret, disappointment, and apologies for the soju dick you step into the hallway praying you don't recognize anybody from the screen golf center or your wife's hagwon coffee klatch and you see this sign

And everything is all better


Dictated not read